gathering stories

A photo from around 10 years ago. It was nap time for the toddler, and I was outside on the back patio of our old house taking photos for an article I'd written. Back then I seldom "slept when the baby slept" and more often worked whenever she took a nap. I was standing on a chair to get above whatever I was photographing that day, and suddenly I realized someone was watching me.

I remember the quick cascade of feelings that went from "crap I knew I was being loud" to "when am i ever going to get this done" to complete delight at this mischievous face staring at me. And I snapped this photo as she saw me start to laugh.

"The days are long but the years are short" is a saying I read around that time. So much truth there. We'd been through heart surgery and medicine three times a day for two years, and I lived from a place of believing if we had been through that we could get through anything. Of course, life unfolds as it does and so much was to come. And, moments like this one helped me find The And Space inside my days.

I walked over to the window as I was laughing and told her to keep watching me while I finished my work. And she started giggling and did just that. Somehow I was able to be mom and photographer in that moment.

Did I always move toward delight back then? No. Do I now? Not always.

And.

Capturing this moment and remembering pieces of the story so many years later helps me gather up the evidence of the moments we really did live then. I was a tired mom of a toddler AND I was working in the in-between spaces. I was trying to heal from feeling like I had to keep her alive every day (like I had for those first two years) AND I was a mess at times and neck deep in the feelings I hadn't let myself have. I was unsure of many things AND I was figuring it out. I was sad and open and hopeful and creating a life for us. And it was a beautiful mess of love that brought us here. What a gift it is to be able to listen for the stories inside the memories, to find evidence of how we live with our hearts open.

*****

Over the summer, I sat down and practiced one of my favorite prompts and made a list of stories I want to tell. As I started to write this list, I realized I wanted to share these stories with you because maybe you, like me, need these reminders of how to reach toward presence, compassion, and love each day. This was on of those stories. I’ve gathered others along with quotes, poems, and other inspiration for a new offering I’m calling Side by Side. If you’d like to join me for 30 days of stories and inspiration, head over here to learn more. You can sign up at any time.

i want to remember...

july 2023

This is not a photo of @kellymadelife and me laughing so hard I started wheezing. This is not a photo of each of us tearing up as the other shared a story. This is not a photo of frozen cokes or salt and vinegar and dill pickle potato chips alongside classic rock and tree-lined streets. The is is not a photo of the most comfortable bed or the pile of pillows we’d all be lucky to have. This is not a photo of potential suitors or stories about crushes from high school. This is not a photo of the way friendship can hold space for grief and joy and hope. This is not a photo of mushroom risotto or pizza with banana peppers or fig + orange jam with goat cheese. This is a photo of a slice of my dear friend’s everyday world that I will hold close forever and ever amen.

Also, it’s possible Kelly B and I are at the beginning stages of cooking up a retreat in the midwest for next year. Yep. For real. Stay tuned.

let it be

Sometimes I write the words I most need over and over and over in my journals. This really is one of my all-time favorites. Also, if you haven’t watched the Paul McCartney + Rick Rubin documentary on Hulu, it’s your homework, friend. Also, I highly recommend making a playlist of several versions of “let it be” and listening on a loop when things feel hard. Or when you’re just driving to after school pick-up and need to gently shift roles.

Ideas for Your Five Things Journals

Here’s a peek inside several of the Five Things journals I’ve created in the last few years. The basic premise of this course I teach a few times a year is using list writing as a daily short practice of mindfulness and creativity. Each round is different and you can learn more about the next round of Here: Five Things right here.

Over the years I’ve used a variety of journals - from handmade to simple notebooks. I am a big believer in using what you have, so if you're planning to keep a journal when taking this course, I encourage you to look around your home and gather up what's available. Maybe you will continue with a journal you've already used in one of my other courses. Maybe you have a journal you keep saving for something and THIS IS THE TIME! Maybe you will use a spiral notebook or legal pad.

Below you’ll find some simple ideas along with a video that shows a look at several of the journals I’ve used for this course.

First up is something really simple: Here's a look at a journal I created for my kid for her Five Things lists that she kept when we first started this class back in 2020. I simply gathered up 4x6 and 3x4 inch Project Life/scrapbooking cards, 4x6 envelopes, a couple of 4x6 postcards, and paper I cut to that size. I used a hole punch and then gathered it together with book rings. This way, when she wants to make a list, we can just take that page out so she can write on it, put it in the typewrite, decorate it, etc. 

For a different variation of this course I did with one of my online communities, I used a pocket-sized Moleskine Cahier notebook. I made my lists on a double spread page - creating a small collage on one side and writing on the other. In some of my other journals, I enjoy pairing my lists with a single image. The photos below share a peek at both of these ideas. The journal on the right is a Moleskine Cahier notebook (XL with blank pages) and you can see the cover of it at the top of this post.

Sometimes I like to get a little messy with paint and stickers and stamps and photos inside handmade journals (that I make or made by another artist) that has a wide variety of papers to create on.

For more ideas, watch this video flip through of several of the journals I’ve used for my Five Things lists:

The next round of Five Things starts October 1, and you can sign up at any time all month and I’ll get you started with Day 1.

on laughter and continuing and listing

I’m sitting in a bedroom in a house in Illinois that belongs to a friend I’ve had for more than 30 years. We sat next to each other in Western Civilization our freshmen year at boarding school and by the end of about the second week of school, our teacher had to separate us for talking too much. We were two girls who really never got in trouble who were so excited to have found each other and couldn’t contain that excitement. By the time we got to the fourth class period of the day A LOT had happened in 24 hours in our little world in Culver, Indiana, and we had things to say to each other.

I’ve spent the last few days with her, other friends from our time at Culver, and with her family. What a gift this time has been. And I want to share about how humor and kindness shows up in our friendship.

One of the topics we talk about these days is how to keep showing up in the world right now - as a human, a mom, a friend, a daughter, a co-worker, a partner, etc. We talk about how to stay curious and kind even when someone else is sharing words we don’t agree with. We talk about how to raise others up and continue to replenish our needs. And we laugh. Oh my goodness how we laugh.  

One of the nights we were together this weekend found us side by side in bed giggling like we were 14 again. And when I say giggling, I mean this: my friend and I were staying with her mom in my friend’s childhood home. We had both headed to bed after a long day of meetings and connection (we were back at our boarding school volunteering). I was in her brother’s room; she was in her childhood bedroom. Her parents had three kids and each still has a bedroom in her mother’s home.

I found something funny on my phone as I was doing that thing we do these days - scrolling before falling asleep. I kept my laughter in and tiptoed down the hall to see if my friend was still awake. She was. I crawled in bed next to her and shared the story. And then we both laughed the quietest belly laughs we have ever tried to hide from her mom in the middle of the night. We were 14 year olds again for that minute of laughter that quickly became 10 minutes of two middle-aged women unable to stay quiet as they laughed from their bellies with the good stuff that comes from laughter flowing through every one of their cells.

I eventually went back to my room and am pretty sure I feel asleep with a smile on my face. The next morning when we connected in the kitchen, we both felt rejuvenated from head to toe. More than 48 hours later I am smiling so big as I share this story with you. It feels like that laughter will live inside me as a breathing thing for weeks.

What I really want to tell you though is that part of the joy of spending time with my friend is that we’ve been making the choice to be really present with one another for several years now. We ask for what we need before we share something hard - “I think I need you just to listen” and “Okay, I am open to your thoughts now” and “What do you need from me?” She uses her magical powers of nurturing through food so I remember to eat. I hold up a metaphorical mirror and share how I see the ways she and her husband infuse their home with joy. She invites me to slow down my thoughts when I interrupt her because my brainstorming brain has kicked in and is too damn fast (in other words, she holds up a hand and says calmly, “let me finish, first”). I listen to her share a story and remind her that she doesn’t have to fix anything right now. She holds my hand when she knows I’m deep in the feels of wondering what might happen next.

As I write to you, I’m thinking about how I have to practice this presence within myself so I can continue to practice it with my friends. And I’m back to Maya Angelou’s words in the quote above - “My wish for you is that you continue…”

One of the ways I practice presence is through writing lists. The act of getting things out of my head and onto a page in a list relaxes me, gets me back into my body and heart, and even inspires me when I look back through them searching for the breadcrumbs of wisdom from past me.

A way to join me in this practice is through the next round of Five Things, which starts October 1. In this course, I show up in your inbox every day with stories, poems, songs, links to things that will inspire you, alongside a prompt to make a list of five things. It’s a simple practice that has become a deeply supportive one for many of us during the last few years. As always, I’m working on the list of prompts for this round with an eye toward this time of year along with The And Spaces I know so many of us are holding. I’ll also be making my own journal again and will share some peeks of that on Instagram later this month.

Over here, I’m going to try to get a few more hours of sleep. It’s the middle of the night in the timezone I’ll be back on by the end of the day. I’m glad though that I decided to get up and write to you instead of just letting the stories swirl around keeping me up. Thanks for being on the other side of this note. I am deeply grateful for you.

May you have moments of ease and joy today. May you continue to astonish the world with your brave, wise heart. And may you soon find yourself in the midst of a deep belly laugh with a friend that will stick around inside you for a long, long time.

Side by side,
Liz

PS You can sign up for Five Things here.

PPS Those words about being present + that flower in my journal are by my friend Brandi Kincaid. She taught me the joy of clear sticker paper, which comes in handy for the delightful art + wisdom + hope she creates.

five things I want to do when I grow up

Because dreaming about who I want to be one day brings me joy and helps me uncover some of the longings I have. And adding them into a journal helps them take one step closer to becoming real.

I love making lists of five things because it just feels doable and it’s fun. You can join me for my Here: Five Things month-long listing course right here.

a reminder for you

the guest house

The magic of finding one of your favorite poems in a magazine and being able to add it to your journal. I highly recommend this book of Rumi poems translated by Coleman Barks.

My October ecourse Touchstones has just begun and you can still come along. In this course we gather up the words of others, inspiration, our own words, lists, letters, images, and stories and put them together into a journal you can turn to like a road map back home to yourself. There are four price points so you can choose the one that best works for you. Learn more right here. (And whenever you’re reading this, know that if you want to join us today, you’re right on time.)