here

 

Over here there's been peonies (all the time) and a last day of school and turning 5 and turning 39 and turning 47 and to-do list organizing and lots of flag making and jewelry making and retreat prepping and cake eating and lip sync practicing and really good book reading and mama daughter dates. 

Over here there's been popsicles and laughter and wishing for do-overs and a little voice saying, "Mama, can you chant to me again while I go to sleep?"

Over here there's been deep breaths and late nights and one perfect moment resting in bed with the windows open to the birds singing and my family laughing down the hall.

And there's been unicorns. Always, always unicorns.

a quiet revolution

I’m sharing a story today as part of the launch of the new site Quiet Revolution. It’s co-founded by Susan Cain, author of the best-selling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

I was lucky enough to see Susan speak at WDS a few summers ago and the topic of her book deeply resonated with me. She’s giving a voice to what introverts experience in our current world and it is powerful (just listen to her Ted talk).  

A peek into my own journey as an introvert comes up in one of the phrases that has become central to what I share with women I work with: Just show up as you.

It’s why I created my retreats. I wanted women to be able to set down the expectations they feel in their daily lives, to set down the roles they play, to set down who they think they are supposed to be, and come to a safe and creative environment where they can show up as themselves. 

But here’s what I know: This isn’t always easy.

We go through life feeling the push and pull of wanting to be seen as ourselves but also wanting people to like us. We look at a situation and try to figure out the best way to move through it. We want to thrive in our lives and we want to be loved.

Oh this being human is a wondrous wacky adventure.

As a child, one of the things that was often said about me was, “You’re so serious.” I interpreted this to mean: You’re too serious. You’re no fun. You aren’t funny. And people don’t really want to be around you.

Whoa. That is a lot for a little one to be navigating.

Looking back, I know that what I was really doing was honing in on one of my superpowers:

I take things seriously.

What does that mean? Well here’s a peek at what it means for me:

• It means I’m able to create safe space for women to talk about the tough stuff that happens in their lives. 
• It means I’m standing tall in the belief that we hold the beauty of life in one hand and the grief of life in the other. 
• It means I’m able to hold space when someone shares a story that comes from the guts, from their heart. 
• It means I invite others to honor the messy, hard stuff and still seek the joy. 
• It means I let myself feel all the feelings when navigating through my own life. 
• It means I’ve come to understand that walking through the woods alone and pausing to take five deep breaths in the middle of my day supports me and helps me listen and make sense of things.

It’s why I do the work I do.

This realization that being serious is a superpower has helped me to show up as me and helped me to find my kindreds who see me for me. And here’s the important piece: They really see me because I let them.

When I show up as me, I shed those old stories around what “being serious” means and move from a more confident and grounded place. In many ways it is a more vulnerable place but it’s also filled with a lot more joy.

And I’m learning how to set boundaries about what I do and do not want to do when my introvert buttons get pushed. Leading my own retreats? Yes. Being the room parent at my daughters school? Nope. Volunteering to help in the classroom? Yes (from time to time). Organizing a big party for her 5th birthday complete with homemade activities even though I’m thought of as the crafty mom? Nope. And how the list goes on.

I’m finding my way. I’m learning how to listen to what I need and what I know so that I can still show up as me as best as I can in certain situations. And I’m resisting the temptation to judge and compare and instead hold space for all of us to show up as ourselves. 

This piece is always a work in progress, which is one of the many reasons I’m glad that Susan has launched this Quiet Revolution.  

There is space for everyone, for all of our quirks and strengths. Yes.

So come over and join the Quiet Revolution. It’s an online community created to connect and empower introverts around the world. You can join the community and get a free copy of The Power of Introverts: 9 Best-Love Stores by Susan Cain.

Quiet Revolution is a mission-based company whose goal is to unlock the power of introverts for the benefit of all. With your help, we hope to inspire all personality types to embrace their quiet strengths and create a world where introverts are celebrated for their valuable contributions and, more importantly, for who they are.

flag sets are in the shop!

Over Memorial Day weekend, Ellie and I made a set of prayer flags for her room and another set to hang outside on my studio. It was pretty magical! I want to tell the whole story of making them with Ellie in another post soon (it was her first time sewing with a sewing machine!), but today, I want to share that I had so much fun creating them that I couldn't stop myself from wanting to make more. So I'm having a pre-sale of flag sets in the shop!

I've been creating flag sets in various styles for almost 10 years. All my flag sets are inspired by Tibetan Buddhist prayer flags and Apache burden baskets. As I create them, I'm singing away in my studio as I infuse them with love and joy and wishes of light and peace for you. When you hang them inside or outside your home, let them carry your prayers, wishes, burdens, hopes, worries, and deepest dreams and then release them into the world as they blow in the breeze. 

These flag sets are available just through Thursday of this week! Creating these brings me so much joy, but due to time and other projects, these flags aren't always available in the shop. So if you'd like a set or two, place your order now. They'll come packaged in a sweet little cloth bag ready to give as a gift or hang up in your home. 

practicing self-care even in the summer

Over here, we're navigating that slide toward the end of the school year. Because Jon's a teacher and Ellie is now in school full-time, our lives revolve around the school schedule, which I'm sure many of you can relate to.

And here's the truth: I'm so used to my schedule as I work from home during the day that I've been known to dread summer a bit.

I mean I love summer. And of course I love my family.

But they are both home. 24-7. Okay not always 24-7 but I've found it very hard to create a schedule for all of us that works.

Maybe because I don't really create one.

(This is turning into true confessions.)

And although there are many beautiful, fun, love-filled moments as a family in the summer, there's also the reality that: Mama needs to work!

As I continue to look for ways to build my own bridge between the everyday stuff and more really really good days, I'm thinking about how this summer can feel different for all of us.

And one huge piece stands out to me: Not only do I need to simply sit down with Jon and look at the calendar and think about how to shift my work schedule, I also have to restructure my own self-care.

This means making a list of self-care moves that will support me (and my family) this summer. For example:

• Pausing to just notice and seeking beauty in the inbetween spaces.
• Taking those five deep breaths.
• Asking for what I need (for real...instead of resenting that someone isn't reading my mind).
• Scheduling in rest and quiet time in our days.
• Identifying little things that bring me joy this time of year and making them happen (watercolor picnics! painted toenails! flowers in pots outside! lazy days in the backyard on quilts!).
• Creating an updated family self-care journal.
• And taking time to add and subtract things from this list to make self-care really manageable for myself this summer.

If you'd like support in figuring out the self-care practices that you need this summer, come along to Water Your Mama Soul, my ongoing 10-day ecourse for women who are ready to take time for themselves so they can be even more present to their loved ones and their life. 

This can be the summer you remember you even as you experience carpooling to camp and family reunions and weddings and hot hot hot days and siblings together all.the.time. and how the list goes on.

This can be the summer where you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You got this kid."

This can be the summer where you create space for more joy and more ease.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Sign up right here.

sloughing it off {because this is self-care}

I get in the shower and let the hot water rush onto my body. I stand there for a minute or so. Just being. Then I shampoo and wash my hair, sometimes pretending I'm standing under a waterfall like I used to pretend when I was a kid. My body begins to relax as my shoulders move away from my ears, my forehead relaxes, eyebrows un-tense, spine settles.

Here.

Then my big moment of self-care arrives: I open a jar of sugar scrub and scoop some into both hands. I move my hands across my chest, shoulders, elbows. I sometimes gently scrub my c-section scar.

I imagine that I'm sloughing off the pieces of the day. The stuff that doesn't serve me anymore. I imagine that I'm clearing the way for whatever is to come, for the shiny newness underneath the old.

Sometimes I even purposefully take a shower to slough off a particularly hard day or conversation that didn't go as planned. I imagine that I am pulling out the energy that's settled inside me from the experience. Gently rubbing in circles across my heart, down my arms, sometimes even ever so gently across my face.

Scrubbing. Sloughing. Gently clearing away.

A simple act of self-care that reminds me that I get to choose what I hold onto. I get to choose how I react to my day. And it simply makes me feel good too.

I really love my time in the shower. The quiet space of water and warmth brings me back to center. I am one of those people who has a lot of really good ideas in the shower, so I keep dry erase markers in the bathroom so I can write the ideas onto the mirror when I get out so I don't forget them. I can focus in while also relaxing enough so that ideas can rise up to the surface. I also find myself feeling all the feelings in the shower, and it cocoons me so I can feel a sense of space just for me.

But with a little one around, sometimes shower time becomes a time when she wants to talk with me while sitting on the stool in front of this sink or look at a book while just being in the bathroom with me or just peek in to see what I'm up to. This practice of sloughing is off is one I can turn to even when my time alone has become time to chat with Mama. I can still choose to inhale the lavender and be right here even when my daughter is chattering away about what playground we're going to go to when I get out of the shower.

Self-care doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to look like what someone else is doing. It just needs to fill you up. Yes. Yes. Yes.

dear girl...

A piece of building the bridge between your daily life and the life you long for is cultivating an inner dialogue so you can actually listen to and get to know the one person who affects your day most of all: You.

One way I do this is to write letters to myself that are full of the kindness and wisdom I'd share with someone I love. They are sometimes a pep talk. Sometimes I ask myself a question and then answer it. Sometimes they are a bit like a poem. Other letters are full of forgiveness and deep truths.

Putting pen to paper helps me make sense of the swirling thoughts around and inside me so that I can hear myself.

One of my favorite prompts to give women is to start a letter that simply says, "Dear girl..." and then just start writing the words you most need to hear. Before you begin, you might want to pause and just close your eyes and get present in your body, heart, and mind. Letting the day drop away so you can listen. Then open your eyes and start writing.

See what comes up. Try to let go of judgment and keep your pen moving across the page. 

Then when you're done, notice if there are any themes or specific phrases that stand out to you. Those phrases could become prompts for your next letter.

If you'd like to come along for 10 days of cultivating this inner voice alongside practicing creative-self care, come along to Water Your Mama Soul. Registration for this ongoing course is open.

This course is really is for anyone who wants to connect with daily practices they can use to ground themselves in the midst of whatever a day brings. So if you've been struggling to find a self-care practice, this class will give you tangible ideas you can start using. I think of it as a class that invites you to realize you can nurture and mother yourself even as you give to those around you. Note though that the theme of the course is for mamas with kids at home, and most of the women taking the class will probably be mothers, but I believe the themes in the stories I share are universal and you will be able to tweak the practices to be able to join in. 

Learn more about Water Your Mama Soul and register right here.

building a bridge in the space between

This morning, I'm in that quiet space of holding the stories from the past few months that I haven't shared here and the desire to let them all tumble out. It's this space of being "almost there" and feeling like I'm on the cusp of bursting with all that I want make happen. So I'm starting this post with that peony above because 1) I can't stop with all the peonies all the time right now and 2) It is like a visual of how I feel inside.

As I shared with my newsletter subscribers earlier this week, last weekend I visited my mom, and we did a pretty amazing deep dive into my business. I've been looking at where I've been, what I've created, and the ways I share it all with you. I've been having hard conversations and really exciting ones. And I can't wait to tell you more about it through some new blog posts and my newsletter.

One thread that runs through my business that has come forward through these conversations (and the work I've been doing during the last few months): I want to help you build a bridge between what daily life looks like and the life you most want to for yourself (and those around you...and the world). If you follow me over on Instagram, you're seeing some peeks at how I'm doing this over here.

And I'm doing it one move at a time.

Sometimes one move looks like sitting in the backyard with Ellie as we slide beads onto wire and eat strawberries and chat about how we can invite in more kindness. And for 10 gorgeous minutes, she just stays present and calm. During moments like this, I capture a photo and imagine that I'm sitting on the bridge between daily life and my own longings and I'm dangling my feet over the edge and choosing to see the beauty, knowing it might be fleeting because life is unpredictable with a four year old.

Sometimes this move looks like slogging through a metaphorical overgrown meadow with weeds as high as my waist as I somehow keep walking and cross items off the to-do list and try not to lose it or use that tone of voice that triggers everyone (including me) and I just keep taking one breath, one step, repeat. And then somehow there's a pause in it all and I'm able to remember I have go-to moves to reconnect me with joy. So I choose to turn up some music and twirl and find myself again. But even though twirling might be involved, it isn't always easy.

Sometimes this move looks like just standing right here. Hand to my heart. Taking five deep breaths.

And sometimes this move is a big one, like choosing to rebrand my website (coming soon!) and asking my husband on a date (for real).

My hope is to be a guide for you as you move closer to your own longings, closer to having more really good days in the midst of whatever life hands you, closer to seeing the beauty even when it storms.

And one way I want to do this is through my new Back to the Basics one-on-one offering. It's in the Beta Testing phase right now, but I'll be opening it to you next month. If you want a sneak peek and to sign up to get first dibs on the handful of spots I'll be opening, head over here.

As you walk through your day in your corner, I hope you'll spend some time thinking about the bridges you're building. What would it feel like to let go of "all or nothing" when it comes to making shifts in your life? What if the moments when we realize things aren't working are actually clues to how we can tweak the way we're building the bridge between our day-to-day lives and the dreams inside us? What if you could live your dreams into reality one move at a time?

These are the conversations I want to have with you.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

30 ways to invite in more joy

 

Here's the thing about joy: Sometimes it arrives like unexpected laughter or a hummingbird peeking at you through the kitchen window or a note in the mail just because or an exquisite turn of phrase in the novel you're reading late at night.

And sometimes you have to work at finding it in your everyday life.

It's like a muscle you need to flex and move and notice and use. 

That's why I often talk about it as being a practice. You have to practice seeking joy, creating space for joy, opening up to joy.

You have to make joy in your everyday life. 

Here are 30 ways that I dive into joy that I hope will help you get started with this practice. And here's the part where I say I hope you'll pick one today and give it a try. And then try another one tomorrow. And then make your own list. 

Yes.

1. Lip sync to Johnny Cash.

2. Go outside and listen to the birds sing.

3. Put on your favorite shoes and take yourself out for coffee.

4. Text a friend.

5. Watch Kid President.

6. Donate to your favorite charity.

7. Turn up "Shake It Off" and jump around until your insides rattle a bit.

8. Call your mom and tell her you love her (or call your BFF and do the same).

9. Write down 10 things you're grateful for.

10. Make soup (or some other favorite comfort food).

11. Write a love letter.

12. Head to the water, to the woods, to the strip of green in front or behind your home, and notice five beautiful things.

13. Ask your Facebook friends to tell you one good thing about their day.

14. Write a thank you note.

15. Go to a yoga class (or push yourself to do something you love that isn't at work or home and involves just being around others).

16. Check out your favorite children's book from the library and read it aloud (to yourself or someone else).

17. Eat a cupcake (or an apple).

18. Give yourself a superhero name.

19. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am whole. I am worthy. I am loved."

20. Sing a favorite childhood song with zeal (maybe join in with Kermit.

21. Find a dandelion and make a wish.

22. Watch your favorite movie (or even just a favorite scene).

23. Make a list of all the ways your grade school teachers changed your life.

24. Go through a carwash and pretend you're on an adventure.

25. Draw a map of your childhood hometown complete with labels of the most important places to your 8-year-old self.

26. Write a list of your favorite things.

27. Ask someone you love to tell you that story that always makes you both laugh so hard.

28. Take off your shoes and stand up (or just put your feet on the floor) and feel your toes and your heels and thank the earth for supporting you and keeping your grounded.

29. Give someone flowers (and maybe keep one stem just for you).

30. Ask for a hug. (And maybe even open your arms wide right now. Yes, right now. Open them wide. Breathing and feeling that space. And then wrap them around yourself in a hug that says, "You aren't alone honey. I've got you.)

How do you invite in more joy? Please share in the comments so we can keep the list going.