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Filtering by Category: make a list.
Listing gives me a rhythm of pausing and noticing and slowing down my thoughts. It eases my anxiety. And it gives me a reason to write with this brush pen I love.
Yes, it’s just a simple act of putting a few words to a page.
And.
It’s proof of life.
Proof I can return to again and again.
Join me for a new round of Five Things. We start February 1st!
I used to make these lists all the time here on my blog because it is just so fun to share the things that bring a little joy or delight, the things that make life easier, and things that inspire me or even take my breath away.
Here are five current favorites:
1) One of my favorite things about being part of One Little Word as a guest instructor is getting to know the other women who are teaching throughout the year. And one of these magical people is @azzarijarrett. She takes incredible photos (with film!) and creates beautiful things. I ordered the stickers and postcards above, which are now in my “current favorite things to inspire journaling” basket on my studio table. Thank you for the light you shine, Azzari.
2) This poem and this poem and this poem.
3) The comments on this Instagram post are (very very) worth reading.
4) Megababe Thigh Rescue has changed my life this summer. Hello dresses and skirts, my thighs are happy to feel you against them again. (If you’re looking for a layer to wear under skirts though, I also recommend these and these.)
Self-care is a word that gets said a lot these days. I think it encompasses several things, including rest, connection, community, noticing and asking for what you need, doing things you love, taking a break so you can recharge, and making sure your basic needs are being met before you’re able to help others (that whole put on your oxygen mask first idea).
Today, I want to focus on some pretty simple self-care moves that we can do when we have just a bit of time in our day. These are the ones I turn to when I’m running from role to role and start to feel depleted. They often give me a boost of support as they help me push pause on multi-tasking so I can make the choice to be present. They aren’t an answer to everything, but they can help you feel grounded before you move onto the next thing on your list. Pick one thing from this list and try it today. Or let this list be a springboard for your own ideas.
Pausing to take a few deep breaths is something you can do just about anywhere, and you don't need anything but you. During my yoga teacher training, one of the first breathing practices we learned was Sama Vritti, which is known as Equal Breathing. The effects are a calming of the mind and body.
To work with Equal Breathing, sit comfortably with your feet on the floor and close your eyes. (You can also sit on the floor cross-legged or lay down, but you don't want to fall asleep. That said, this is actually a great breathing technique to do to help you quiet your mind before going to sleep.)
As you sit, begin to notice your body and see if there's any place you're holding tension and release it where you can, relaxing your shoulders, your forehead, your belly. Then, begin to notice your breathing.
After a few breaths, begin to inhale and count to four and then exhale to the count of four. Continue this for several breath cycles, and if you have time, continue for several minutes. You can increase or decrease the length of your breath so that it feels comfortable for your body. Noticing what you need is really important here.
Writing letters to myself is a practice I use often. For real. (If you’ve taken one of my ecourses, I’ve probably shared a few ways to do this with you.) Here’s one way: write yourself a love letter.
Fill it with the words you would write to someone else who might need to feel uplifted. You could begin with "Hello dear one" or "Hello beautiful soul" and just write the words you most need to hear. You can then tuck your note into an envelope and put it somewhere to read later. Think about even choosing a date in a few weeks or months and putting a note in your calendar (or setting a reminder on your phone) to remind yourself to open up your letter again and reread it. When you do, it will probably again feel like the words you most need.
This practice can seem silly when you first start it, but I really recommend it.
Sometimes when we have a few minutes to ourselves, we quickly fill it with looking at our phones or other devices. And suddenly what was meant to be a break from it all becomes 15-30 minutes of social media, email, and random articles that we don't actually care about. Try taking a true break and put down technology for 15 minutes. Walk away from your computer. Put your phone in a drawer. Consciously create some space away from that online chatter and take a few moments to just notice the world around you.
On the surface this might seem in conflict with my previous suggestion, but please keep reading. Sometimes the best way to fill up the well inside you is to connect with someone else. When you have just a few minutes, you really can have good connection through a quick phone call or even a text message.
When I'm having a tough day and need to be reminded that it's all going to be okay, I have a few friends I will reach out to just to say, ‘So I kind of need a hug’ or “I need someone to catch this story today,” and they'll send over support. Even though my schedule might not have room for time with a friend, this simple act of letting someone know I need to connect helps to ground me.
Sometimes what we really need is touch, slowing down, and relaxation. You can give this to yourself by gently massaging your hands, even if you're at work.
Start at the base of your hand (palm up) and give yourself the pressure that feels good moving up toward your little finger, applying pressure all the way to the top of your finger. Then back to the base of your hand and move up to your ring finger, and so on with each finger. Then flip your hand over and do the same thing on the other side of your hand. Repeat on each side and then do both hands again.
You can do this with or without massage oil. I love the oils from my friend Bella of Intentions by Bella.
Laughter actually does help you release tension, which is something I’m reminded of again and again when I turn to a favorite YouTube video or watch a clip from the late night talk shows. It helps me to just laugh. There’s even an article over on the Mayo Clinic’s website that explains why: laughter can "activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling."
Another idea is to keep a funny book nearby that you can open and read for a few minutes (I love Yes, Please by Amy Poehler and A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson). Or phone a friend who always knows how to crack you up. Or even follow a few Instagram accounts that make you laugh.
Think about having some go-to foods that really nourish you during the day, and then schedule in your 15-minute break to rejuvenate yourself. You might even want to make a list of nourishing foods, so you can hone in on what makes you feel good.
My go-to foods that really nourish and nurture me include: fruit and green smoothies, yogurt, a small plate of cheese + almonds + fruit, an apple with peanut butter, and hot tea. Sometimes I also have dark chocolate or a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream. I don't avoid sweets completely; instead, I listen to my body and what it needs. And having a list of things that feel and taste nourishing helps me remember what to buy when I go to the store so I can keep these things on hand.
Imagine giving yourself the gift of 15 minutes of self-care a day, maybe even every day for the next five days. Time for you where you can breathe, take care of yourself, reconnect with yourself or someone else, and feel grounded in the midst of whatever life is handing you. If you try any of these ideas or have a few more to add, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Photo credits: photo of Liz meditating by Lauren Oliver Photography, third and fourth photos by Vanessa Simpson of Focus In Photography.
I love a good list. From lists of favorite things to lists of 10 places you should visit in Paris to gratitude lists to your favorite songs in high school, I love them all.
List-making can actually be an awesome self-care practice. The act of slowing down and focusing on writing a list pushes you out of the swirling thoughts in your mind to bring your attention to just one thing: writing the list. A list can connect you to the present moment and the beauty and gratitude waiting to be found in your daily life.
It can also be a great writing practice and warm up before you dive into a writing project or it can even be the bones of an essay, a blog post, or a poem. I often encourage women who have the "I want to be writer" dream deep inside them to begin with lists. Get some words on a page because writers have to write and push through just dreaming about writing.
Here are a few list-writing prompts to get you started with your own list-making practice. You can find more in my ecourses including Here: Five Things, a creative, mindful listing course I teach a few times a year.
When the "to-do" list starts to feel heavy and even overwhelming, it can be helpful to create a "Want To Do" List.
You can make it really doable and include items like: take-out for dinner, stopping by the park on the way home from school pick-up, taking a 10-minute nap, and reading before bed.
Or you can fill it with the dreams and desires you have right now and add things like: a weekend getaway, less time on devices each weekend, more whole foods in your diet, or more time with everyone together in the evenings.
Having a "want to do" list pushes you to notice what you need and separate it out from what must get done each day. You could make this list every day in a simple small notebook (I love Field Notes and pocket Cahier Moleskines) and begin to notice patterns as you listen to what you need.
When I get to the end of the day and have that "I really wish I'd gotten more done today" feeling, I sometimes make a list of the things I really did today. When I start listing things, I begin to realize that I accomplished so much more than I thought I did. This is a simple one but can make a profound impact on your internal self-talk. Try it and see what you find.
Pausing to pay attention to what you want to remember can be a beautiful daily practice. It invites you to really notice the moments of joy and growth and realness that make your life what it is.
This practice is a great one to pair with scrapbooking or a simple album of photos and words. And it is one that you can do with your family. I love asking my daughter a version of this question that is age appropriate for her, like, "What did you love most about today?" Making lists like these can help you to see the positive moments in your life, which is especially helpful when you're going through a tough time.
Here's the thing: writing a gratitude list every day will change your life. For real. So even though this one has been around for a long time (Remember learning about this on Oprah in the 90s?), it can be a lovely and supportive practice.
Psychology professor Robert Emmons explored the idea of keeping a gratitude list in one of his studies. He found, “subjects who wrote down one thing that they were grateful for every day reported being 25 percent happier for a full six months after following this practice for just three weeks” (from “6 Surprising Reasons Why Gratitude is Great for Your Health,”). If this isn't a reason to try this one, what will be?
To begin this practice, simply answer the question, "What am I grateful for today?" and make a short list. Try to write down at least five things you're grateful for each day, and notice how this practice makes you feel. You might even want to journal about that very idea once a week to see how this practice affects you. My daughter and I have been making these lists together for a few weeks now (about 2-3 times a week after dinner), and I'm already noticing the ways that throughout our days, we each bring up things we want to add to our lists.
My daughter and I also love these "My Listography" journals that are full of fun list prompts that invite you to think about so many things. There are versions for parenthood and lists about the future and books and movies. They are an accessible way to give yourself a few moments of slowing down and thinking about yourself in the middle of your day. And they are simply fun!
Another list I make sometimes is actually one of my favorite poetry prompts. I call it "a list of here," and I literally just make a list of what I'm noticing in this moment. I like to list somewhere between 5-15 observations. This is a really beautiful mindfulness practice as it centers you in the middle of your day and brings you back into your body and heart as you take time to simply observe your surroundings along with your inner self-talk. Over the past year, I've started sharing them on Instagram with the hashtag #alistofhere - feel free to join in!
I hope you'll try list making as a self-care tool in your corner of the world. I really believe that it can help you slow down and notice your life in a new way. And it can help you get to know yourself better, which is a pretty awesome thing, don't you think?
One of my favorite self-care moves is to make lists. It gives your mind a place to rest and can even become a mindfulness practice when you slow down and create intention around it.
Earlier this week, I came across my copy of Moorea Seal's The 52 Lists Project and decided I wanted to dive back in this year. Last year, I made it through four weeks of lists, but then dropped off, and I want to start back up again. In her book, there's a different list prompt for every week of the year and some suggested actionable steps to take inspired by your list as well. The book is beautiful and throughtful (just like everything Moorea puts into the world).
I shared my intention of diving back into it on Instagram and Facebook and several people shared that they would love to join in writing a list in this book each week. So we're going to do a "list-along."
I really love this idea of all working through the book together this year. And I love the idea of keeping it really simple.
We will gather on Instagram and share our lists (or something about the book and our experience with it) on Sundays using the hashtag #52listsSundays so we can find one another.
To share your post in the feed of others sharing about the book (who aren't connected with our list-along), you can use #52ListsProject. You can see lots of ideas and goodness in that feed from people who have been using the book over the last couple of years.
This is a "choose your own adventure" kind of experience with a side of support and connection. Anyone reading this can join in at any time. There are no real rules except that we're using The 52 Lists Project. My hope is that we just have some fun practicing self-care and connecting about it each week on Instagram this year. And if you have the companion 52 Lists of Happiness book and want to use it instead, go for it!
It is easiest to connect on Instagram using hashtags. You can use them on Facebook, but your post has to be set to public for us to find one another. I will be focusing on connecting on Instagram and will also post my photo on Facebook for connection there. I won't be searching Facebook for hashtags though.
You can join in whenever you want to! If you're reading this in March, you can still join in. If you've done a few weeks and want to join in, you can. Like I shared, I have already done a bit of work in the book. I'll be adding to my lists or posting reflections on how they might have changed in a year for the first couple of weeks and then diving into new lists.
You don't have to share your actual list. Some topics might feel too private. That is totally okay. Take a photo of the page before you write on it. Take a photo of the book closed. Take a photo of something that represents the list to you and share about it. Use the "blur" tool to hide parts of your list like I did above. You can make this as personal as you want it to be.
If you don't have the book and want to come along, just order one when you can and jump in if you'd like.
If you're feeling overwhelmed about writing in a beautiful book, maybe use a pencil so you can erase! I know this is actually a huge piece that stops many people from using these awesome self-care books that people spend some much time creating and making in the hopes you will get messy and write and create in them. Try to let the beauty of you taking time for you in this simple act of self-care be bigger than the fear of messing up your book. I'm cheering you on over here!
If you can't post on Sundays or forget etc, just post on another day! We'll just always use the #52listsSundays hashtag to keep it simple.
Again, all you need to participate is a copy of The 52 Lists Project by Moorea Seal (or her 52 Lists of Happiness book if you already have that one and want to come along).
And if you have questions, just let me know. I will answer them in the comments.
Looking forward to listing with you each week!
Big love,
Liz
PS This post and read-along/list-along is not sponsored by Moorea Seal or the publisher of her books. This list-along came up very organically and informally. My biggest hope is that by joining in together, we can keep each other accountable to actually take this time to practice self-care each week. The links above are affiliate links though, which means when you purchase something through them, I will receive a small commission. You can also purchase copies of these books on Moorea's site.
I'm thinking about the way rest is so often something we avoid, but something we deeply need.
I'm thinking about how sudden blue sky lifts my spirits and reminds me to always create space for hope.
I'm thinking about the seasons of so many words and the seasons where the words swirl inside me but can't find their way to the page.
I'm thinking about how delicious a really good cup of coffee tastes.
I'm thinking about how grateful I am to be able to do the work I do.
I'm thinking about how I can continue to let this year be more gentle every. single. day.
I'm thinking about how to set down the rules and the shoulds and the invitations to have things be a certain way and just live. really, really live.
I'm thinking about the fragility of life.
I'm thinking about the sound of Eleanor's giggles and how her hand feels when she reaches for mine and grasps tightly as we walk together.
I'm thinking about the moments of uncertainty and wishing it was easier.
I'm thinking about what it would feel like to pause even more before I speak.
I'm thinking about the way Puget Sound laps against the rocks and wondering why I don't stand beside it more often.
I'm thinking about how to create more space for friendships and hugs and girls' nights and date nights.
I'm thinking about the warrior me, the magician me, the ninja me, the gentle me, the sacred me, the woman finding her way and reaching out her hand to you me.
I'm thinking about creating with paper and photos and color and how it feeds me and how I must commit to more of it this year. (Join me?)
(photo is a peek of the Alchemy Deck I'm creating in Mindy's current class.)
Earlier this month, I gathered with six of my girlfriends from boarding school for a girls' weekend in New Orleans. All seven of us hadn't been together in about 9 years, which is a really long time.
And it was awesome.
I totally fell in love with New Orleans and had so much fun catching up with these dear friends.
Here are a few things I learned while on our trip:
1. The beignets at Cafe du Monde are worth it. Big time. There really is a reason why everyone tells you to go there. Here's what you should know: They only take cash. The service is brisk in speed and temperament. The line moves faster than you think it will. You will get powdered sugar everywhere. And your eyes will water with joy because they taste so good. (I wish we'd gone every single day.)
2. When it comes to hurricanes that come in a glass, remember two things: First, as my friend Melissa's friend Anthony says, "You should share one. Two, you're committed to the night. Three, you're getting carried home." And second, here's what I say, "Honey, only drink the hurricanes that have the words fresh juice in the description. The rest are going to taste like cough medicine."
3. Brunch at Brennan's is a must. The food was worth swooning over. The service was wonderful. The servers brought all seven of us our brunch at once in a little parade of delight. I'm still thinking about my biscuit. And the Carribean Milk Punch someone had that was so good and I want some right now. Be sure to make reservations.
4. Bourbon Street is as crazy as you imagine. And it has some of the best people watching I've ever experienced. Do go there at least once. Do go dancing (and maybe even dance right in the middle of the street). Do stick together. Do carry tissue in case you need toilet paper. Do pay attention to the reality that people will toss beads at you even if you keep your clothes on (so keep your clothes on sweetie). Do go to Bourbon O if you're looking for some awesome music, a more mellow vibe, and the best window seat ever to watch the crowd go by. Do say yes to a ride in a rickshaw back to your hotel at 2:30ish AM even though it costs more than a taxi. (You will remember all that laughter and silliness forever and ever amen.) Do not try the grenades even if they are buy one get one free.
5. Honey, wear flats. These streets are crazy. Not even. You will be walking a lot. No one will be looking at your feet. And when you're out late (and you're gonna be out late), you will be so happy you're not in heels. (And if you're dealing with some awesome plantar fasciitis like me, these are the best - I have them in black.)
6. Go to Lafayette Cemetery and take a tour with Carla. She is beyond awesomesauce. I learned so much and wish we all did things the way they do things in New Orleans.
7. It is totally okay to take a breather in the afternoon and head back to the hotel for a lie down, especially if you've only had two beignets and an iced coffee and the group is about to go on a haunted ghost tour with the promise of 2 for 1 hurricanes at the end. You will be very glad you gave yourself that gift when you're up at 2:00 AM later (hashtagwateryoursoul).
8. The bartender at your hotel will know the best restaurants around. Mine directed me to Red Fish Grill, and I ate the best sandwich there - the blackened red fish melt. It was one of the few restaurants around open in that in between lunch and dinner time. I ate in the bar and watched a delightful young man shuck about 200 oysters.
9. Let yourself set down the old stories. And they will come up as they do when you spend time with people who have known you for 25 years and are like family. Show up as you and let yourself just have fun. And commit to the promise of being better at staying in touch. Texting is your friend.
10. Do ask your friends who have been to New Orleans for recommendations. This is how we ended up eating two incredible meals away from the crowds: one at GW Fins and one at The Franklin.
11. Head to Jackson Square! It's gorgeous and there are quite a few shops and restaurants nearby. Be sure to wander through the artists who sell their work on the square.
12. People are really friendly and helpful. And I found this everywhere we went - from the airport to restaurants to our hotel and on and on. Now this might not apply to your experience with tourists or people visiting for college football games (or it might - the young man in the elevator was very polite when he said "Oh you're still young ma'am" when replying to my comment of "It's okay. I was young once too" when he apologized for being a wee bit obnoxiously drunk).
13. If you're only visiting for a quick weekend trip, you do not need a car. Uber is awesome. It is easy to get a taxi from the airport (the line moves very fast, promise) and from your hotel. And the streetcars take you to the major destinations (and they are so much fun - but be sure you have cash!).
14. Flying out late on Sunday so you can go to a spa before your flight can be an unexpectedly delightful idea. (So this one isn't really specific to New Orleans but it is going to be my new rule for travel whenever possible.) Three of us had later flights so we spent our last afternoon at the Spa at the Ritz Carlton. The massage prices were reasonable, especially for the Ritz, and you could use the other amenities in the spa. We had lunch there. And we went home a bit more rested and relaxed, which was a very good thing.
15. There is so much history everywhere you look. We really only scratched the top layer with this trip. I want to go back to learn even more, probably doing a bit more research ahead of time and maybe even renting a car just so I can explore around New Orleans more. (I still stick by #13.)
16. Frenchmen Street is a lot of fun and a bit less wild then Bourbon Street. Lots of live music. We stumbled across The Business playing, and I became a bit obsessed with their lead singer Whitney. I might have said out loud, "She is now one of my spirit animals." They were so much fun that I actually suggest you try to find out if they're playing when you're in town. So. Much. Fun.
17. If you love art, handmade goods, and connecting with makers, the Frenchmen Art Market is a must. I had a delightful conversation with Katie Schmidt, the founder and designer of Passion Lilie, and plan to spotlight her in the {i heart makers} series soon. Love love love her designs!
18. You should have your tarot cards read or dip your toes into some of the woo woo goodness when you stumble across it. I didn't have my cards read by the lady in Jackson Square who was gorgeous with her crystals set up beautifully on her table and her kind face and I totally regret it still.
19. There really is music everywhere. All kinds of music. So good for the soul. Make time to stop and really listen. Look the street musicians in the eye and say thanks (and even donate a few bucks). Soak it up while you're there.
20. You will stay out later than you have in years, but honey, you will remember you have that move to have fun like you're 22 again and it will be totally worth it. (And remember #7.) As my friend Melissa says, when you're visiting New Orleans, "Come from a place of yes and keep saying yes. Then, don't be afraid or embarrassed to say no thank you."
A few more notes about our trip:
We all came in Thursday evening and left Sunday. This meant we had two full days together. Staying that third night to have those two full days is the best advice I have when it comes to a girls' weekend. Friday to Sunday, especially when flying, is not enough time to really sink into your time together and to explore a new city.
We stayed at the JW Marriott, which was a nice hotel. However, there was at least one fraternity and one sorority from Florida there for the big game. As in the entire fraternity was staying at our hotel. That was #awesomenotawesome. There was also construction, which meant one restaurant was closed, and a few other things that were unexpected. That said, the customer service was really really good.
The girls did enjoy the Ghost Tour they went on but they all agreed it was a bit long. If you can find one that is less than 90 minutes, go for that one. The Cemetery Tour was just 30, and that was perfect.
And we also decided where we're going next: Nashville in 2017. This gave us all something to look forward to when the sadness of all of us living so far away from one another set in as the weekend drew to a close.
I don't want to wait until 2017 for my next trip though and am already looking through Pinterest for ideas for my next girls' weekend (and I still need to write a post about my "mama entrepreneur weekend" in Napa this past Spring).
For my next trip, I'm thinking staying here on the West Coast just so that I can spend less time traveling and more time exploring.
Where do you recommend?
a card from my new One Move mini-deck
It's been a while since I did a five {really} good things post. I'm trying to get back to more blogging and more sharing here, so when the muse pulled me to want to share these things today, I listened.
1) I'm starting my days with lemon water over here (and drinking it throughout the day), and it has become a really good thing for my belly. I've done this in the past, but am trying to make it a daily self-care move.
2) I gathered up 10 of my favorite books to help you practice self-care in this article. I could add a lot more, but these give you a really good start. (And I just ordered a stack of new ones, so I'll be writing some book review posts here over the next few weeks too!)
3) My Week in the Life kit arrived! I'm so excited to participate in Ali's Week in the Life project next month. I'm one of those on-again mostly off-again want-to-be scrapbookers and this project and the kit that goes with it is helping me make this manageable for me. I've spent too much time "shaming" myself around how I don't do Project Life every week (or ever these days), and I'm ready to get off that train. If these words resonate with you, think about joining in. Learn more right here.
4) I'm delighted to be a contributor to Jessica's Summer Slowdown next month. It's a free daily email that invites you to take a deep breath and be present every day. Love this!
5) My Kata Fringe earrings from Lynzee Lynx make me so happy! Her shop is full of so many good things.
+1) The image above is from my new "One Move" mini-inspiration deck that I created for the beautiful souls who attended my One Move Retreat and who are joining me for Back to the Basics. I couldn't stop myself from ordering extras, so there are 15 sets in the shop right here. The mini-deck is just $8.
