a new collaboration

I'm excited to announce that I'm collaborating with eBay for the next few weeks, and this post is part of that collaboration.

So often, we think of eBay as a place to buy things we might not be able to get anywhere else. For me, this has meant searching for and scooping up a vintage Strawberry Shortcake lunch box like the one my mom gave away that I now use for sewing supplies, discontinued favorite Dansko shoes, vintage pink buttons that look like flowers, a stuffed animal for Ellie to replace one we couldn't get anymore, and even some jewelry tools I use in my studio.

You might not know that eBay is also a great place for information, and I've begun sharing some guides about a few of my favorite topics over in their guides section. I've also started putting together a few collections of things that are catching my eye as I explore eBay.

Today, I want to share one of my guides that is all about self-care. It has some great ideas for you to tuck away as we get ready to move into the holidays. And these ideas are about self-care moves you can do when you only have five minutes. Read it right here.

Over the next few weeks, from time to time I'll be sharing other guides you here. The topics will vary from curvy girl fashion to other self-care moves to DIY and craft ideas for you to do with your little ones. I'm so excited about this collaboration and so grateful to you for coming along!

The photo above was taken by Vanessa Simpson of Focus in Photography. Earlier this month, we had a fun day taking photos and sharing stories as we styled some photos for these guides and blog posts and tried to dodge the Pacific Northwest rain. So grateful for this blossoming friendship and how it's becoming a creative collaboration kind of friendship too. She has two little ones, so it is also fun to be able to swap mama stories + have playdates with the kids. 

from revolutionary lips

I often say that poetry saves me. It gets under my skin and into my bones and pushes me to pay attention. It opens a door for me and I suddenly find myself in a room surrounded by others who want to talk about the unexpected beauty found in the messy, gritty, grief-filled moments that happen in a life. 

Poetry has helped me find a home inside myself where I know I'm not alone.

Reading Amy Palko's new poetry collection, From Revolutionary Lips, was like opening that door again and stepping inside a candlelit room filled with women who aren't afraid to tell it - the real, the sexy, the gorgeous, the messy truth inside them.

Over the last few years, I've been walking a path of women mending after going through trauma when my daughter was born. And this mending has been slow and hard and beautiful and painful and confusing. This mending happens in the space between moments as I move from mother to wife to entrepreneur to friend... and try to remember I'm always me even as the roles topple into one another. 

The grief mingled in all of it catches me off guard at times. I find myself taking a step forward with shaky vulnerability and then whoosh! I'm discombobulated and simply sad and unable to say aloud what my heart, what my body, most needs.

Reading Amy's words, being ushered into the door that her poetry opened, has felt like someone has held up a mirror to the swirling feelings inside me. This collection is sexy and raw; it's full of the stories women grasp inside fists while thinking "no one else must feel this way."

Amy's words will remind you that you aren't alone in your desires and the mysterious longings inside you. They are an invitation to freedom. And she weaves her gorgeous self-portraits between the poems so you remember that she's walking this path alongside you.

Yes yes yes.

Here's one of my favorite poems from Amy's collection paired with her self-portrait.

Wounds
by Amy Palko 

Grounding in the bowl
of my pelvis, feeling
the rub, that place of pain
and discomfort, that red raw
weeping wound bleeding
rust coloured tears…

She says stay with me.
She says stay with the discomfort.
She says stay with the pain.

Don't try to escape it.
Don't try to remove yourself, transcend
in any way from the experience
of this moment,
and the next,
and the next.

She says just be with.
She says just be with and receive
receive
receive.

She says see -
This is where the light gets in.
And out.

You can read more about From Revolutionary Lips and buy it (plus the audio and hear Amy's gorgeous voice read these poems) right here.

Amy Palko is the creatrix of Red Thread Voices - a publishing house that aims to offer a home to the voice of exiled feminine, She is also a goddess guide, poet, photographer and lecturer whose work has been featured internationally. She lives in Edinburgh, Scotland with her husband and three teenage children, in their home that overlooks the deep harbour, and the wide mouth of the River Forth as it opens up to swallow the cold waters of the North Sea.

fireflies {a poem}

Watching My One-Year-Old Daughter

Her upturned face takes in each flake of snow.
Giggling, she looks at me as though saying,
“Can you believe this is falling from the sky?” 

One-year-old joy is like a jar of lightning bugs.

*

When will it begin to fade?

At three when she loses her favorite stuffed baby panda.
At ten when her best friend refuses to talk to her.
At thirteen when words I don’t ever want to say hang in the air.
At seventeen when she watches the one she loves with someone else.
At twenty-two when unexpected grief becomes her companion. 

In a moment I cannot prevent,
her heart will crack;
the light will flicker.
And today, I ask all that I reach to believe in
to be there to catch her. 

*

Her feet crunch the white with each step.
She stumbles but reaches toward the sky,
catching wonder in her palm. 

Her one-year-old wisdom teaches me 
to resuscitate each firefly buried within.

*****

This week is all about poetry here on my blog. I wrote this poem a few years ago and haven't yet shared it here. Finding it again has me building a bridge between what I felt in that moment to what pushes and pulls on me in this one. I'm reaching out my hand to her and saying, "Thank you for reminding me of what's true."

You can read more of my poetry in Five Days in April.

It's a collection of poetry for the times when your own words fail you. For the moments that leave you wondering if you're alone, in the missing and the hoping, in the falling apart and putting the pieces back together. It will invite you back home to yourself.

Available here in my shop.

female poets: a place to begin

Yesterday, I shared that I'm thinking about the tables I want to sit at when having conversations about the beautiful questions (as David Whyte calls them), and one part of this is sharing more about poetry here on my blog and reading and sharing more female poets.

So here's a list of just a few to get you exploring. Because poets tend not to have personal websites, I'm linking to Poetry Foundation for you to learn more about these female truth tellers and adventurers and read more of their poems. Please feel free to share other female poets and your favorite poems in the comments. I'd love this post to become a beautiful resource for all of us.

Naomi Shihab Nye: Her poem "Kindness" is one of my favorites. I also love her collection Red Suitcase. What Have You Lost? is often by my bedside; it's a collection of poems by others she gathered on that topic. 

Marge Piercy: I remember the first time I read "The Day My Mother Died" and stood rereading it again and again, my mouth agape with that "I'm not the only one" kind of feeling swirling around me. I also love the poem "Colors Passing Through Us." And her collection The Moon Is Always Female must be mentioned in this week's poetry conversation.

Sharon Olds: Her poem "I Go Back to May 1937" was the first poem that caused me to say "Oh shit" out loud (there have been others). I've written about it several times (including here), but I have to mention it today because of the way it tells a story so many of us touch around the edges of but seldom have words for. Her collection "The Father" is about her father's illness and death and her reflections on all of it. It is gritty and masterful. In other collections she writes about the real stuff of motherhood and holds nothing back. Here she is reading "The Clasp." (Wow. Just wow.)

Jane Kenyon: I have Kenyon's Collected Poems. I pick it up, read one maybe two poems, then try to catch my breath and put it down for two to four months, then repeat the process. I could probably devote an entire blog post to explain why, but part of me really wants you to discover her on your own and begin your own conversations with her. A few for you to begin with: "Let Evening Come," "Happiness" (you can hear her read it), and "The Shirt," which might just surprise you and make you laugh out loud.

Diane Ackerman: I'm a big fan of Diane Ackerman's A Natural History of the Senses and have had A Natural History of Love on my shelf for a long time. It's now in the pile of books I'm hoping to read this winter. With these books though, you get more of her naturalist/poet self; they aren't filled with poems. You can dive into her poetry in Origami Bridges. And here's one for you to read right now: "We Are Listening."

Elizabeth Bishop: Her personal story just really captures me. She is now recognized as one of the great American poets, but she wasn't well known while alive. So many of her poems rhyme, which is also intriguing to me. Here's one for you: "Full Moon, Key West."

and of course, Mary Oliver: She's my favorite poet. The one I turn to daily. At retreats, I will often pick up one of her books from the basket of poetry I have beside me and just turn to a poem. It is almost always the one the group needs to hear at that point in the retreat. Magic. Her poems often chronicle the walks she takes each day. And they just tell the real stuff about life...about being a human in this beautiful, heartbreaking world. I'm so grateful for her. I pretty much recommend every collection, but Red Bird is a great one to start with. And here's one of her poems, "Breakage," for you to read aloud again and again.

And then there's Nikki Giovanni and Kathleen Norris and Marianne Moore and Susan Howe...there are so many others. Please do share your own favorites in the comments.

Tomorrow our week of poetry continues, so please do meet me back here.

beautiful questions

 

Here, a woman stands at a seat between Rilke and Heaney, across from Whyte, and wonders if she can sit down.

These are the words I wrote while listening to poet David Whyte speak earlier this month.

I'm a big fan of David Whyte's work in the world and his poetry. If you've been at one of my retreats, I've probably read you a few of his poems. Kelly Barton has a great story about me reading his poetry to her while a storm pounded down outside the house we were staying in in Manzanita, Oregon. His words opened her up to poetry in a new way; little did she know I was reading to keep myself centered because the storm was pretty much freaking me out as we were on the ocean with floor to ceiling windows as the sea and sky raged all around us.

Over the last nine years, David Whyte's words have become talismans I carry with me to remind me that I'm not alone.

But while listening to him speak for two days, my friend Bridget and I noticed one glaring omission: the poetry of women.

Whyte is a storyteller and philosopher who uses his own poetry and the poetry of others to share what he believes about this awesome, sometimes heartaching, gorgeous life we all live. And I love this approach. Sharing a story and the poem born from that story. The audience hopefully spends some time reflecting on their own lives and how it all connects. Alternatively he shares a poem by someone else who connects to his story or a poem by another that prompted a response of his own poem. There is a rhythm to his storytelling that often feels like home to me.

I use a somewhat similar approach when I teach at retreats. I love to share a story that will hopefully invite the women I'm teaching to open their hearts up just a bit more and then I invite them to share their own stories and put pen to the page. I also love using the poetry of others as an entrypoint to our own writing; I want my students to be able to nod along as I read poetry and see themselves inside the stories, even if they've never had the experience the poet is sharing. 

While listening to Whyte this time, I struggled to find a way to see myself in the stories and poems he shared. Women made appearances in the typical forms of daughter, mother, lover, but they weren't seen as hero, deep thinker, person who might change the world, or even person struggling with life's big "stuff."

And this has me pausing over here. I'm actually not in deep judgement of Whyte's work. The reality is that I'm a big fan and at the two other events I attended with him over the years, I didn't have this reaction. Most observations are more about how his omission brought up some "beautiful questions" as he calls them that have me asking: What tables do I want to join? What stories do I need to tell? What poems are waiting to be born inside me? What female poets should the world know more about?

As I dive deep into gathering stories and beautiful questions as I work on a new offering I want to share with you next year, I'm heading to my bookshelves and starting with Sharon Olds, Madeleine L'Engle, and Diane Ackerman. They feel like old friends who have a seat just waiting for me.

Today, think about the tables you want to sit at and the stories you want to help tell in the world.

And tomorrow come back as I've decided to make this a week all about poetry on my blog, and I'll be sharing some of my favorite female poets and few other fun things this week!

*****

As I think about the need for female voices at tables around the world, it feels pretty awesome to share that my ecourse Poem It Out is now available as an ongoing offering. This means you can sign up at anytime and you'll have access to the full course so you can dive into the world of poetry. This course includes four weeks of poetry and creativity prompts taught with both written material and more than two hours of video. To learn more about it and read testimonials from those who've already poemed it out, head over here.

staying in touch with faraway grandparents

Eleanor is lucky to have three sets of grandparents, but all of them live very far away from us. One of the new things I'm trying to do to keep us connected is to send letters and artwork in the mail. She comes home with a lot of artwork from school, which is awesome, but also has me wondering what the heck to do with it all. There's a small stack that is going into cards we'll send, and we're going to use the huge pieces of painted paper that come home from time to time to wrap some Christmas gifts.

When Ellie's official school photos came home a couple of weeks ago, not only was I wondering if it might be the best school photo of all time (because seriously! it is in the photo at the bottom of this post), but I also thought we should do something special to send copies to her grandparents. Over the summer, I had a great conversation with someone over at Treat, which is one of Shutterfly's sites that focuses just on cards. It was fun to learn about the site, and as soon as I saw Ellie's photos, I finally had the perfect idea to try them out.

I sat with Ellie and we made a list of her favorite things about school so far. All the words are hers, though the editor in me couldn't stop myself from making the list "parallel" in structure. That urge just never leaves me.

We then sat down at my computer and chose a photo from the handful of first day of school photos I'd taken. She insisted it was her favorite favorite favorite, and we put it on the front of the card.

We had the option of adding another photo inside, and I remembered that we had a great one from her teachers. In September they focused on "construction" and had their first field trip to the facilities department on campus. Ellie talked about it for days. So I asked her to tell me about this photo and her favorite parts of learning about construction. I literally typed what she dictated to me, and I love how she started by saying, "This photo is full of joy!"

I typed up her list and then we were able to put a tiny photo of her on the back plus a short note. She wanted to type so I spelled "Made with love by Eleanor Jane," and she was so excited to be able to type like Mama on the laptop. The whole process was very easy and we were on the Treat website for about 15 minutes from beginning to end.

About one week later the cards arrived. You can have Treat mail the cards for you, but we wanted to include her school photo + I wanted her to sign her name because she's writing her name everywhere these days.

The ease of using Treat + how fast they come + the joy on Ellie's face when she saw the cards in person and was able to sign her name and put them in the envelopes pretty much means the grandparents will be getting these every couple of months. I can slide in other photos I've printed out at home, and they can feel a lot more connected to all of us.

So. Much. Fun!

Disclosure: Treat did not sponsor this post or provide me with free cards. However, affiliate links are used throughout, which means I receive a small commission if you order from Shutterfly or their companies through these links.

inviting in delight

Over in Hand to Heart this month, we're inviting in delight, so I'm asking variations of this question and providing some ideas all month long.

I love this word. 

But I know it can be a tough one.

It pushes me to wonder, "Do I really ever feel delight?"

Of course I do. But to focus on it can feel a little foreign, like wading into a level of self-care that might be indulgent. And indulgence can feel off or self-centered.

But what if delight was an access point to joy? To setting down old stories of being too much? To letting in more light into your everyday life (even when it rains)?

Take a few moments and ask yourself: How can I let in more delight today?

Think about wearing your slippers to pick up the kids at school because your feet just don't want to be in anything else.

Think about buying three more of your favorite candle because you're now going to light one every evening as your one act of delight each day.

Think about texting a friend just to say, "You bring so much joy into my life" and then the next day sending another one that says, "I want you to know I'm so grateful for you" and then the next "How's it going over there?" and so on. 

Think about taking just one bite of ice cream right from the container when you get home from work and standing in the kitchen savoring it as it melts in your mouth.

Think about taking your glass of wine right into the shower as you wash off the thickness of the day.

Think about playing another round of Old Maid with your granddaughter because she laughs so loud when one of you gets the Old Maid and you can feel your capacity for delight grow each time.

Yes.

You can invite in more delight in simple ways.

And if you want to talk more about this practice and other ways you can embrace the beauty and the grit of each day, come on over to Hand to Heart (it's free). We've got our arms open for you. 

love this :: everyday outfits (november)

It's been awhile since I've shared an everyday outfits post. Now that we're really in the midst of autumn in the Pacific Northwest, here's a glimpse at what I'm wearing and loving and stacking stacking stacking.

1) This denim shirt from J.Crew Factory (hat tip to Elise) is finally (FINALLY!) the denim shirt I've been looking for. It's fitted but still roomy and it's really chambray so it isn't heavy. Great for under sweaters or as an outer layer. And I'm doing the denim on denim thing and loving it.

2) I'm stacking these bracelets in multiple colors daily over here. They caught my eye when I was checking out at Paper Source and I was delighted when they fit me. I have trouble sliding bangle-style bracelets over my hand but my wrist isn't large, so that makes for an interesting relationship with bracelets. These stretch just a bit and somewhat vary in size. I pretty much want about 20 more to wear on both wrists. They are fair trade bracelets made from recycled flip flop materials. Awesomesauce.

3) And I love to stack them with my Five Deep Breaths bracelet that I wear every single day lately as I keep holding my ground with love with my strong-willed awesome intense four year old.

4) This Wild Shirt from Umber Dove Studios is basically on rotation two to three times a week over here. It fits like a dream and makes me so happy. I have it in purple and love it in the gray too. 

5) With an outfit like this one, if I were leaving the house, I'd probably wear my favorite "non-traditional" Ugg Grandle boots that I've shared before (this year's similar version here), but today, I want to tell you about my fox slippers. I've mentioned my plantar fasciitis that has been hurting me on and off for the last year. For the last two months, I've been wearing supportive shoes almost every single time I'm walking. As in as soon as I get out of bed, I slip on shoes and keep them on all day long. For a person who prefers being barefoot, it has been a bit excruciating at times. As I go from the studio to the house, often in the rain, I want something that I can stand in for short periods of time hammering at the project table but that also just feels cozy as the studio warms up in the morning and most importantly makes me happy. These foxes have hit the sweet spot for me.

6) My favorite JJill jeans bit the dust recently. I still have a pair that I've cut the too long length off of that I wear sometimes, but gosh I wish it wasn't all skinny/slim fit jeans all the time everywhere as I look for a similar pair. I'm back to the Dreamer bootcut jeans from Old Navy, and I'm remembering why I do really love them. Super comfortable and really flattering. Thinking I'd like to get them in the slightly lighter wash too. And when I'm doing the skinny-ish jeans thing, I still wear these NYDJ boyfriend jeans and unroll them and tuck them into my favorite tall boots.

Check out other everyday outfit posts here.

Quick note: Some links are affiliates, which means I receive a small commission when you purchase from that online store.