and then there's laughter

Over here I'm in that space of climbing a somewhat steep learning curve with a few aspects of my business while trying to find a rhythm now that Jon and Ellie are back to school while also processing the news we received earlier this month that we don't have a lot of time left with our sweet golden Millie. And, you know, just being human in the midst of it all. Diving into these topics isn't actually what I want to talk about today (that will come); rather, I want to talk about one huge self-care move I'm making that's helping me right now. 

And that self-care move? Laughter.

If you've been around here a while, you know I'm a bit obsessed with lip syncing. As in there was that one time I recorded myself lip syncing "Jolene" by Dolly Parton and put the video up on the internet. As in having lip sync parties is something we do at my retreats now. For real. As in watching videos of Jimmy Fallon and guests lip syncing delight me to the tips of my toes.

And last week, while I was navigating this stuff over here, a dear frind texted me the link to Ellen Degeneres and Jimmy Fallon's lip sync battle first thing in the morning. After I finished up a few phone calls, I pressed play and in a few moments, I noticed that I was smiling so big my cheeks were starting to hurt.

When it was over, it was like I'd relaxed into myself again. I felt a lightness inside and around me. And laughter and connection and joy were the cause.

So I settled in for more. And over the last week I've been taking a little time each day to get my laugh on.

I watched Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The Trevor Noah episode was brilliant - I laughed and my world view was flipped on it's head. (Seriously.) 

I watched clips from Stephen Colbert's new show.

I watched Kevin Hart on The Tonight Show and laughed until I cried over his Jay Z story. (You might not, but something about the way he tells that story just made me laugh. I'm. Still. Laughing.)

I rewatched Amy Schumer doing just about anything.

I watched Stevie Wonder sing (and maybe teared up while laughing).

And each day, for just a little while at least, I was grounded in the awesome that is deep, real laughter.

Sometimes when you're standing on an edge in your life, when you're deep in the learning or even in the grief, it helps to invite in laughter to remind yourself that the light is always there. 

Maybe call up that friend who always has the best stories to tell. Or ask your dad to tell you that one story that makes you laugh every time. Or invite that friend for coffee who is the person you can be your most ridiculous self with. 

Or spend your lunch break, like I've been doing lately, with Jerry Seinfeld or Stephen Colbert or Amy Schumer.

Laughter can bring you back to center honey. Choosing to laugh isn't about not acknowledging the tough stuff. No. It's about inviting in the light so the tough stuff doesn't feel so lonely. It's about standing with others on the common ground that laughter gives us.

What I find again and again is that comedians are the truth tellers of our time. They have their finger on the pulse of the absurd, of the challenging, and even of the truth of grief. I actually think that there's a real chance you'll feel deeply seen in the midst of whatever you find yourself experiencing when you take a few moments to spend some time with a comedian or two.

An invitation: Now tell me, what makes you laugh in your corner of the world? An author, a show, a person in your life? I'd love to know. Please share in the comments.

hello september.

By the end of our first week in Wisconsin, I settled into a new normal that included taking a break from Facebook, letting someone else handle emails, and starting the day with yoga. This new normal didn't involve checking Facebook or Pinterest or my work email on my phone. And there were no "smart" devices next to the bed or waiting on the bathroom counter. A few times a day, I'd look at Instagram on my phone then check my personal email and then get ready to click and think, "Oh wait, that's it. Time to get back to living."

By the end of our first week, I was beginning to recognize myself and started to feel a deep swelling of peace in the center of my body.

When I visited my yoga teacher last week, in a moment of vulnerability, I asked her how I could keep that feeling always. After waiting a few beats, she reminded me that nothing is permanent. Right. I know this. Yes. But still, the longing to feel this expansion of peace remains. We talked about this. My current practice is about tapping back into that feeling through yoga and a chanting practice along with homework that she wrote down like a prescription: Take one retreat day a month. 

Today is my first "official" day back to the world of social media and blogging and emails. I've been working here and there during my break, but it feels a bit like the first day of school over here. 

Speaking of which, Ellie had her first day of Kindergarten last week. I'm calling this the "official first day of school photo."

 

And this one is the "show me how excited you are for kindergarten" photo!

As I ease back in today, I'm clear that setting boundaries around availability and social media is important. I knew this already, but I wasn't always implementing what I know. It would be so easy to slip back into bad habits, and my clicking from Facebook to email and back again a few times this morning invites me to know that thinking about the boundaries is not enough. I must write them down and check in daily to see how it's going.

One piece of this boundary setting is not putting Facebook back on my phone. I have a whole post about Facebook that I'll be writing soon along with some posts on how it's going setting these boundaries and hiring support for this growing business.

Here's a preview: We watched The Empire Strikes Back over the weekend and when I heard Yoda say, "You must unlearn what you have learned," I felt like he was talking directly to me and the 10 years I've spent with my daily life being deeply connected to the screen in front of me. 10 years. Yes. I have some unlearning to do, along with some simple shifts that I know will create more space to simply be present and do what I set out to do when I called my blog "be present, be here" 10 years ago this month.

Thank you for being here beside me. I look forward to sharing the stories and learning from one another as the bridge building between daily life and the longings inside continues.

when first aid self-care isn't enough

from my one move mini inspiration deck

I'm currently in the Great North Woods of Wisconsin visiting my mom and today began my "official" break from social media, work email, and several other areas of my business. 

Today, I want to share a story that will give you some insight into why I knew the time had come. When I wrote the following note to the beautiful souls on my newsletter list a couple of weeks ago, I didn't realize I was actually going to take a break like this. But writing those words and then having two really honest conversations with a few kindred spirits plus a conversation with my mom helped me to see that this really was the only option to truly help me water my soul in the deep ways I need to right now. I have a little post-script at the bottom of this note, so if you're on my list and you read these words already, I hope you'll scroll down and read it.

*****

I drove up to Seattle and met with my yoga and meditation teacher today, something I've been doing every two weeks or so this summer. And somewhere during our conversation and chanting practice, I shed a layer of skin. I mean I literally shed it and left it behind me to be carried out her front door by the wind.

Driving home, I was listening to Mary Oliver read poetry, and when she read the poem "Yes! No!" I was struck, like I always am, by the line, "To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." 

As she continued to read, I felt the lightness that had started to grow within me while sitting on the floor across from my teacher begin to shine through my fingertips.

This is it. This is when you need to pay attention, when the deep hum inside you begins to sing. 

After the end of the school year and the June retreat and the visit from my inlaws and the launch of the Inner Excavate-along, which has more than 500 people participating in a read-along of Inner Excavation, I was beginning to feel depleted. I mean to look at me was to see this busy, getting it done, pretty positive woman. But to really see me was to see shadows under my eyes and lots of swirling thoughts and a feeling of letting people down while being pulled in many directions and knowing I just needed to be still.

To be really really still.

So I did my thing. I danced it out. I reached for gratitude. I made lists of things that bring me joy. I took five deep breaths. I used my oils. I connected even more with a new friend who I can go have coffee with and just be me.

And these things helped. A lot. But they weren't enough. 

One night found me looking up my teacher online and booking a private session with her. Well, actually the window to book the session was open for four days before I made my move. And when I say, "my teacher" here, I mean Laura Yon, the magical, wise woman who I did my two-year yoga teacher training with 10 years ago. 

On the day of the first appointment earlier this summer, I chatted and chatted and chatted, hardly taking a breath for the first 10 minutes or so. Bringing her up to date on "all of it." It had been a few years since I'd seen her, so words about my business and marriage and motherhood and so many followers on Pinterest and on and on and on just kept tumbling out.

And then we took a few deep breaths. And chanted. And sat in the quiet. And when we opened our eyes, she looked at me and said, "Oh, there you are."

I sighed deeply knowing I was in the right place.

Her next words were, "What are you doing for self-care?"

And I was flummoxed for a minute. I'm not kidding. I didn't really have an answer. I mean I started saying all these things about coloring with Ellie and taking five deep breaths and dancing it out, but I didn't have an answer to what I knew she was really asking, an answer to "What is your practice? What are you doing alone to be still and quiet your mind?"

And in that moment I felt the deep truth of knowing I had let firstaidself-care take over.

As my business has grown so much in the last two years, as so many changes have occurred behind the scenes in the last 9 months or so, and in my zeal to help others find their practices, I had forgotten to notice when it was time to sit in the quiet and notice my own deep needs. Well, I had noticed, but I kept pushing it away and filling the space with something else.

It feels like such a risk to share this because the fear is of course that saying it aloud means no one will want or respect a teacher who admits what real life looks like sometimes.

But the truth is, so often we teach what we need. And we don't always practice what we know even when we know we need it. 

This is why it is called a practice.

What came to the surface today is that it's time to really commit to the practice I've been working with over the last few weeks since beginning to meet with Laura again. To commit. Like big time. To shed the excuses and the other stories that stop me and commit.

As we talked today and then as we sat in the quiet together, I began to realize that I want to go even deeper here in this space with you. When I'm here writing the words, "Hello Beautiful Soul," I don't want to be distracted by all the pins on Pinterest telling me what I "should" be doing to grow my audience/use social media/stand out/get you to "click through" and how the list goes on.

No.

Instead, I want to invite you to come along to another layer of a conversation about creative self-care and mindful living and building that bridge between daily life and our longings. In some ways, this won't be new, but it will be a return to making this newsletter space about stories that I share just with you. 

And it feels really important to say this: First aid self-care is a good thing. It is needed. We all need it. I love it and will continue to teach it and share ideas here and in the other spaces you find me online. It's what gets us through "survival mode" and the big stuff and the small stuff too, especially in certain seasons of our lives. We need to use it daily. But we also need something to deeply anchor us each day, something that gives us space to separate from the noise and find stillness and find a place to hear our own deep, true voice within and to connect with whatever we're drawn to that is greater than us. 

If you're reading this and thinking you don't know where to begin, you're in the right place. We'll have these conversations together.

Blessings,

Liz

PS Since writing these words a couple of weeks ago, I've received quite a few emails from people with words of kindness (thank you!) and a few wondering about the difference between first aid self-care and the kind of self-care practice I'm talking about. Some people have wondered what my practice is. Others have shed some tears realizing that they've been practicing only first aid self-care as well and don't know what to do next. I want you to know that I hear you. I'm going to be sharing more about my own practice and talking more about this topic in my newsletter and here in this space. 

But I really want you to let go of feeling bad about first aid self-care. Reread the part above where I say it is a good thing. It really truly is. But when it isn't sustaining you anymore, and you know this, it's time to turn inward and look at what you really need. I realized that I needed an almost full stop break from the stacked up life of a woman running a home-based business. And I realize being able to take this break is a privilege. Big time.

After Labor Day, I'll be back here in this space sharing some of what I've noticed during my break along with stories from the last year that I've been wanting to tell you. Getting back to more stories in this space is a priority.

And another priority is sharing an even deeper layer of the stories with the beautiful souls on my newsletter list. When I write to you in that space, I really do feel like I'm sitting in the quiet early morning hours before everyone else is awake writing a letter with pen and paper to a friend who I know will catch my words and listen. It's such a gift to write back and forth in that space. And I do read every reply. I almost always reply back, though from time to time it takes a while, like it will with my last note.

Thanks for reading this long note, for being here, for walking beside me. I'm off to play in Grandma's backyard with my kid. 

the fall retreat: water your soul

I'm so excited to announce the Fall Be Present Retreat: Water Your Soul. A group of about 20 of us will be gathering in a gorgeous ocean-front home in Manzanita, Oregon where we'll have time to connect, spend time in the quiet, create and laugh and dance, and deeply replenish ourselves. The retreat takes place November 11-15, and I can't wait to bring a group back to my favorite town on the Oregon Coast! You can read all the details over on the retreat site, but here's a glimpse to give you an idea.

What does water your soul really mean?

It's creating space for you in the midst of whatever the day hands you.

It's taking a walk each day and noticing the world outside even on the days the rain drips on your head.

It's saying "Yes" to pieces of your life that invite in more joy and connection and saying "No" to doing it all.

It's blocking out alone time in your planner because you know recharging is non-negotiable.  

It's looking in the mirror and telling the woman looking back at you "I've got you kid."

It's stepping into vulnerability when you look at your partner and say, "I know you're annoyed right now, but I just really need a hug."

It's realizing you're slipping into the old stories about not enoughness and putting on Johnny Cash and singing into your hairbrush to dance it out.

It's sitting on the front step for five minutes just to give yourself some space so you can move forward from a sense of being grounded.

It's holding the beauty of your life in one hand and the grit of the day in the other and letting yourself feel all the feelings.

It's choosing love even when it feels almost impossible.

Watering your soul is about creating space for you, space for your soul care practice, in the midst of whatever life hands you. It's seeking the space in the in-between moments and nourishing yourself. It's saying "Yes" to filling up your internal well, so you can be more present to your life and your loved ones.

It isn't always easy, which is why we practice it again and again. It isn't always pretty, which is why we circle to tell the true stories to be reminded that we aren’t alone.

But it is a choice. Each day. It's a choice to say: I am ready to deeply connect with me, to be with myself in the quiet, to listen to what I need. It's a choice. And this retreat is going to help you make that choice a little more each day.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

How we'll explore self-care 

• We'll spend time practicing and learning about creative self-care as we play with words, take some photos, walk on the beach, and explore other forms of creative play and connection.
• We'll recharge with Mother Ocean as she'll be a teacher for us as we connect with her each day as she's literally steps away from the home where we'll gather. We'll also practice a story releasing ceremony and invite her to hold our stories. 
• We'll slow down and deeply experience mindfulness practices, create a community altar in the middle of our circle, and look at ways we can create space for the sacred in our daily lives.
• We'll explore ways to seek stillness and spend time in the quiet. We'll talk about how you can create an individual mindfulness practice when you get home.
• There will be time to play with your favorite art supplies and other creative goodness so you can remember the ways you want to fill up that creative well within you when you get home. 
• There will be time to tell your story and listen to the stories of others. Many of the women who attend Be Present Retreats form friendships that last far beyond the retreat.

Before the retreat, I'll connect with you to help you decide what creative self-care practices you'll be bringing with you. For example, you might bring the knitting project you keep meaning to get back to, an art journal to play in, the "big girl" camera you haven't picked up in years, and so on. I'll also be bringing my usual vintage suitcases full of creative supplies for you to have fun with.

This retreat is your opportunity to spend time with the self-care you're longing for in your life. 

This is a place where you can show up as you, and you will be given the gift of time to rest and recharge so you can find your way back to you. 

The Be Present Retreats are an invitation to pause in your life and gather in an intimate, creative community to explore, create, discover, and soak up the world around you. Each retreat includes creative play + adventures combined with stories and "being present" exercises to encourage awareness of this moment. At each retreat, you are also invited to nurture yourself as needed as you keep building the bridge between daily life and the longings you have inside you.

There are 9 spots left at this retreat! This is the retreat many of you have been asking me for, and I can't wait to gather with this circle on the coast. If you feel like this might be the retreat for you, head over to the retreat site and read all the details and sign up to join us. 

(Photos of house courtesy of vacationrentalsmanzanita.com)

because books. always books. {i heart makers}

"I like to party" print by Bookworkboutique

I've been gathering a few of my favorite book-related goodies to share with you as the next installment of the {i heart makers} series. Books have always been among my dearest friends. I've gone through times in my life where I honestly felt like authors and characters in books got me and helped me feel seen in ways I couldn't ask others to do in my life. Books take me on adventures, get me to think about life in new ways, and give me a sense of place. If you're someone who loves books like me or you need the perfect gift for a book lover in your life, here are some awesome made/designed by makers creations:

The "I read past my bedtime" pillow by Bookwormboutique makes me smile and has me nodding yes yes yes. The 10-year-old me would have loved seeing this on her bed every day (it goes without saying the 39-year-old me feels the same way). And because this is over on Society6 it comes in other designs too. (And I'm a bit obsessed with all the designs by Bookworkboutique. Like this phone case and this t-shirt and this mug.)

When I signed the contract for my book, my friend Jen gave me one of these gorgeous tiny book journal necklaces from Peg and Awl. It remains one of my favorite most thoughtful gifts of all time. (And Peg and Awl has become one of my favorite maker made businesses to support. I have several of their items in my studio and home. They probably deserve their own blog post soon.)

I've started spotting really unique book planters more and more on Pinterest. I recognize that they might be blasphemous for some book lovers because a book has to be altered but in my mind I love that books that might just be sitting on shelves unread in thrift stores are getting a new life. Over on Scoutmob, Paperdame has some awesome ones.

If you know me well, you know I'm not so much into humor that plays off of body parts. It just isn't my thing. At all. But this tote from She Sells Fairhope and other Etsy items out there with this quote make me crack up every single time I see them. I start singing and grooving and can't stop smiling. The. Best.

When I started my retreats years ago, I couldn't find book plates that I liked to put inside the books I'd be taking with me to retreats (and loaning to friends). Back in 2009, Etsy rescued me and I fell in love with the shop boygirlparty. We've been customers ever since. These whale book plates are my favorite but Susie has several others. You'll be seeing boygirlparty appear in future "I heart makers" posts. I'm a fan.

Love this "Reading is my super power" mug from LennyMud. There are other styles too.

And the Bookworm phone case from Cassia Beck makes me smile. I want to step into that photo and read all those books!

An invitation: Are you a maker? Share a little about you and your shop with a link to your site in the comments so I can visit. Would love to possibly feature you in a future post.

Note that some of these links are affiliates, which means I receive a small commission if you purchase through the link.

i want to remember

I want to remember the way you started calling me "Honey" this summer. It equal parts cracks me up and delights me.

I want to remember the sound of your laughter when you say something that you think is so funny.

I want to remember the way you reach for my hand on the evenings I chant to you just before you fall asleep. 

I want to remember the sound of you sounding out words and the look on your face when you figure it out.

I want to remember the way you're growing up as you pause and notice the way your words and actions affect others. It's a huge piece to understand, and I'm so proud of you.

I want to remember when your counselor at camp said, "Has Eleanor told you that she's become one of our best sharers?" and your face beemed when we told Daddy all about it later.

I want to remember the conversations we're having about just playing when it comes to creativity instead of worrying about "being good." I hope you always remember that playing with paint and paper and pens and color and glue is at its core fun.

I want to remember the joy surrounding you when you ran into the studio and said, "Mama, I taught myself how to swing today!" and explained how you are climbing onto the swing yourself and pumping your legs.

I want to remember the way you so often want to do what I'm doing. If I open my journal and start doodling, you want to play in your journal. If I go into the studio, you are close behind me ready to "help make things for your shop mama. I want to help you make things for the ladies." If I'm looking through a magazine, you want your own. I know it won't always be like this, but it's special to connect with you about the little things that bring me joy.

I want to remember that moment when I looked at you and realized you are a big kid now. And I want to remember the moment right before that one too. 

photo by Tara Whitney 

blue moon dreaming

  

Last week, we had a blue moon, which means we had an extra full moon during this season. And as Pixie explained in her newsletter, it's rare. The next one won't be until 2018. Pixie went on to talk about creating a ceremony where you honor nature's magical cycles and the wisdom inside you and create an intention for yourself that you sing to the moon (literally or in a metaphorical way). 

So I read her words and thought about the kind of ceremony I wanted to create. I love her imagery of the full moon bringing things into the light. But then I didn't set aside the alone time to do it. Summer evenings have a way of getting away from me, and I simply didn't plan well enough to make it happen.

However, I found myself awake in the middle of the night with that moon shining in on me. And I started thinking.

I started thinking about this place where I'm standing these days with a desire to step onto a larger stage. A desire to expand and create the gatherings and teachings and other good things that support women as they create space for quiet, for stillness, and for joy, as they navigate what it means to really live in the space between the beauty and the mess one move at a time. A desire to dive deep and trust that you will come along.

And I started thinking about the longings I have for my own little family, for my day-to-day life. 

Words like courage and "do it anyway" and listen and softness and "tell it" and "focus in" and "what can you set down?" began to float up around me as the moon was shining in.

As I laid there, my head on the pillow, the fan whirring while Jon slept beside me, I tried to just stay in it, breathing, noticing, letting the words and hopes swirl together in a dance and then settle around me. Inhale. Exhale. Trusting the holiness of the moment.

Later in the day, I went out to my studio and gathered up visual reminders that represented that dance and put them on my pinboard so I could see them every day, so I could stand tall in this intention and desire.

No, it wasn't the ceremony I envisioned at first, but instead it became a powerful declaration of who I am right now and where I want to go all while surrounded by the powerful wisdom and strength of so many of my kindreds.

This inspiration board includes postcards and artwork from the following beautiful souls (clockwise from the top left): 

• Pixie Lighthorse's bear postcard from her animal deck
• Andrea Jenkin's photo of hands covered in paint
• Quote from Ali Makes Mail
• Lori Portka's deer postcard from her Gratitude Kit
• Elise Blaha Cripe's ampersand postcard
• My own peony photo, love note, alchemy card from one of Mindy Tsonas' classes, and the photo Jenna took of my hands holding peony petals at the last retreat.
• Kelly Barton's feather painting
• Another quote from Ali Makes Mail
• A card from my One Move mini inspiration deck
• A little original painting from Christine Mason Miller
• A little card of brilliance that came with my Get to Work Book
• An Amy Poehler quote from Ali Makes Mail
• An original painting from Danielle Daniel
• And the Hello Beautiful Soul postcard from my shop

These colors, these women, these hopes, this belief that I can embody the life I want, this is a peek at my heart these days.

And I'm putting a note in my Get to Work Book to change this up monthly so I can keep that energy, that inspiration and connection, flowing. Yes yes yes.

and then on a day in June

There are so many stories inside me about the photos I don't have. 

Over the years I've seen so many mama and baby photos and I've wished I had those photos. Those gorgeous, real-life, this is holy and hard and gorgeous photos of a mama with her baby. I've wished I'd had a photographer take photos of my little family when Ellie was born, and then right before her surgery, and then right after, and then when she was one and two...

Of course, this wishing hasn't meant that I haven't been present to the beauty of the everyday moments. Noticing the everyday beauty is "my jam" as they say.

But you can be present to that beauty and still wish sometimes.

I wanted a photo that captured how it felt to be her mama. A photo that captured the joy that is there even if only at the edges some days. A photo that said, "Amidst it all, she feels this joy, this love." A photo that said, "You're doing a good job Mama. You really are." A photo that captured both of us - the magic, the silliness, the softness, the connection. A photo that would gently push me to shed another layer of how I wish that first year could have been for her, for us. And honestly, a photo that did all that while capturing me in a way that wouldn't distract me from the story. I wanted to feel beautiful in that photo.

Of course I could tell the story with my words and with my camera and I have again and again. And that piece is so important. Self-healing, as my friend Pam says, is an important piece of unpacking the stories and feeling seen by one's self, which is vital in my opinion. But still, I felt that ache of wanting to be seen by someone who would deeply get it. I wanted to hold that evidence in my hands so I simply couldn't deny it.

And then on a day in June, Tara Whitney arrived, and Ellie took her hand within minutes and said, "Come and see my room." And a little girl's laughter and a photographer's wisdom and kindness created space for me to relax into myself, to relax into that joy and love. And before I even saw the photos, that little wish that was more like a crack in my heart stitched right up. 

There are so many gorgeous photos from this day that I'll be sharing, including one of me and Jon that has me saying, "Yes, this is exactly how I feel" even when that feeling can feel far away from time to time after this many years together. And several of all three of us that make my heart burst with joy. But this photo. This one. I had to show you because I'm so grateful for the ways you've held my story these past few years and I knew you would get it. 

Photo by Tara Whitney (who is full of magic and grace and delight.)